Diary

If we were to keep a meter for every moment of intense joy we lived, mine would have probably exploded by the time I left Barcelona, back in August 2014.

I had been floating too high above the clouds, and somehow, Someone, Something, Somewhere, decided it was high time for me to struggle.
In what felt like the blink of an eye, all the happy points I had amassed over the course of my stay in Spain, magically disappeared the moment I set foot in Hamilton, Canada, replaced by every discomfiting feeling one can think of: fear, sadness, loneliness, anxiety; You name it, I harbored it.
The first two months in America felt like I was trying to sail a liner on a choppy sea, by a storm, the powerful waves violently throwing me from one side of the ship to the other, without me getting a chance to catch a breath.
LIFE shook the heck out of my entire being, pushing me to the very edge of what I thought were my own limits, leaving me curled up in bed, with tears rolling down my face every single night.
Life was putting me face to face with my deepest fears, leaving me with two options: face them heads on, or run away. I felt like giving up, but the unbearable feeling of being a loser stopped me.
It seemed like the Universe was wondering how strong I was, and how much I could endure. Like the Universe was wondering was I worth what was on the other side of the “darkness”.
I was resisting, with every fiber of my body, the change I was going through: My move from dreamy Barcelona, to deadly boring Hamilton. Having to build a new circle of friends, when I really, really didn’t want to, and the list goes on.
I fought my way back to Inner Peace, and Well-Being, and eventually got back on my feet. Along the way, I have gained a precious ally called Independence. I mean REAL Independence. I’ve always been somewhat of a loner. But there are things that I would not have dared doing alone such as going to a concert, or sports events – You know, the type of moment we typically share with a loved one – by fear of being judged.  Now I could do anything, go anywhere all by myself, and actually enjoy every bit of it, without a single care what people may think.
The first glimpse of happiness in what seemed like forever came when I went to Montreal, for the Halloween weekend, and visited some friends that I had met in Barcelona.
Toronto slowly but surely grew on me too. What looked like a soulless city when I arrived, turned out to be a town I would totally envision myself living in: Your typical big American town, with a good basketball team, – which is obviously a key factor to take into consideration when moving to another city… Right? – Torontonians are friendly, and very helpful. My mission as of now is to get a grip of that huge Entertainment district, and find my favorite spots for drinks, brunch, dinner, and party!
The happy meter is back (and has been since late October) in full effect!
As if this was not marvelous enough, I think I am handling the freezing temperatures mighty well too!!!
But on that note, I am heading downtown Toronto to get a warmer coat, and a good pair of boots, to prevent me from slipping, and falling flat on my derrière like I did in Montreal last Sunday!
Now let the gods of shopping prevent me from buying everything in sight. Amen! 😉