COVID-19. Since March 13, 2020, the world has been spinning, and with it, so has your mind. Many have found themselves in a low-key depressive state: Wake up. Eat. Watch TV (Netflix, Crave, Prime, Disney+). Check Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat. Post about how badly the year 2020 has treated you. Look at memes. Watch animal videos. Laugh. Eat again. Cry. Attempt to sleep. Eat again. Tear up and hold back an actual crying fit. Actually sleep. Potentially smile. Wake up at midnight and overeat. Whine that you gained a few pounds. Repeat. For some, you may even add “scary Zombieland-like workplace hours” or “lazily work from home” to the repetitive schedule. Add a heavy dose of complaining and a lack of closeness, and you’ve created a recipe quite fitting for disaster.
The real question is… throughout all of this, have we become better humans or have we become more sluggish, lazy and tired beings? I’d venture to guess that some have changed, and some, well… not so much. That all depends on your tenacity and your will to thrive, rather than just “survive.”
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A few years ago, I taught a lesson to my Grade 11 students and asked them to write me a journal entry about what it means “to survive” versus “to live.” A lot of them answered that ‘living’ sounds more positive and upbeat, and ‘surviving,’ makes life look more grim, as if you’re barely making it out alive, pushing through from minute to minute. I still think back to this day and reflect on the ways we can learn to “live” more than just “make it through the day.” I used to hate it when someone would tell me to stop thinking about the future and focus on the present. I absolutely abhorred the word present unless there happened to be actual presents involved. Here’s the thing, though… if you are not present, then you are living in a world where you are constantly on the move, consistently waiting for the next moment to arrive, thereby delaying your ability to actually enjoy your current existence.
We are living in the unknown: the world has changed, we have no vaccine (yet) and we are doing the best we can. But…are we? What can we do to make the best out of a (needless to say) horrible situation?
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The following are options I have used for myself during this trying time:
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- Go for a 10 minute walk. Outside (not on your treadmill!) Believe it or not, it works and changes your mental habits. I find that saying hello to my neighbors and waving at people while I walk increases my endorphins and my overall “feelings of goodness.”
- Write gratitude letters to friends and family. I have been sending out letters by mail since June and I have not only felt wonderful writing them, but I have also felt fantastic hearing the responses from the people that read them.
- Spend a few minutes looking at yourself in the mirror and just SMILE. Yes, it sounds ridiculous. Yes, you’ll look like a fool. However, just smiling at yourself actually increases your will to continue to smile. In fact, it may even make you laugh. Try it.
- Be selfish. Not in an arrogant or pessimistic way, but in a “self-care” way! Take a bath. Read a new book. Find a new recipe you’d like to try and make it. I love it when people tell me “I doAll of this can be done for yourself with yourself. Say ‘no’ to things you do not want to do. Being alone does not mean you have to be lonely. Loneliness only comes when we are not comfortable with ourselves. Take this opportunity to learn what you like and what you will not tolerate. Self-care is not just a “one-moment” bath and candlelit night. It’s an “always” thing. Be selfish.
- Join a community. Communities of people are connecting online as we speak. I joined a “Beginners Running Club” in April and since then, I’ve met people from all around the world who encourage each other every day to run. Join a book club. Join a friend group on messenger. Share things online that makes you happy. The “sharing-is-caring” rule does not just apply to Kindergarten students. Share your ups and downs. Trust in a community of people that you can take solace in. I created a walking crew with some of my closest friends; every week we go for a long walk together and share our stories. It has worked for me and it will work for you too, in whichever way you choose.
- They say exercise works wonders, and ‘they’ would be correct. I have spent the last 4 months of my life exercising every day, in a plethora of ways. However, while exercise may promote a healthier and better YOU, exercise alone does not contribute to weight-loss without a healthy and nutrition-focused life. I made the error in thinking that if I exercise for an hour or two a day, I can eat more. This was a false attribution. I gained muscle in a very short period of time, but I did not lose the weight I wanted to get rid of. As a learning experience, I am happy to know that 80% of what I do needs to be food-oriented, and 20% should be exercise-oriented. Exercise as much as you want, but please do not eat more just because you exercised for the day.
- Effort is everything. In any healthy relationship between two people, it takes two to tango and it also takes two to continue to row the boat you are sitting in. Remind yourself that you do not have to hold the weight in your relationship. If you are doing too much, drop your oars and question whether the relationship is the right one for you. I left a very toxic relationship at the start of the pandemic and it was the best thing I ever did. When you are the only one putting in effort, you also should be the one to know what you deserve in return. Giving up does not mean you are weak. Know when to give up and you’ll be stronger than you think.
- Schedule melt-downs. I know, I know…it sounds ridiculous and potentially insane. However, I have found that the more you hold in your stress and anxiety, the more likely you are the have a bigger breakdown later on. If I’m having an “off-day,” I’ll schedule 15 minutes for myself to cry it out or journal or just do whatever my body needs to do to let it all out. Scheduling time for your mental health is paramount to having a positive life. Even positive people need time to regenerate. If you need to cry yourself to sleep, then do it. Hold your pillow tight, scream, cry, laugh, cry again…do what you need to do to feel better.
- Learn to say NO to the things and the people that make you unhappy. Creating boundaries has been the best thing I ever worked on. What does a boundary look like for you? Draw it out. Write it out. Ask yourself what you will accept in your life from a friend, family member or romantic partner, and then jot it down. Saying “no” has been the most freeing experience for me.
- Don’t just survive…thrive! You know yourself better than anyone else. Allow yourself to feel when your body needs to feel. Find things that make you happy. If you don’t know what they are yet, well…you have your whole life to figure it out. Giving up on positivity is not an option. Give yourself a pat on the back. You are making it through a pandemic and you are finding yourself along the way. Go YOU!
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